An Open Apology Letter to my Tomato Plants

It's sad, isn't it. When I look at you, I want to cry. I'm sure if you saw yourselves in a mirror, you'd want to cry, too. Your withered, dry, unproductive state is enough to make anyone run to the closest Farmer's Market and search for the best homegrown tomatoes one can find.  I have to agree.   I know, I know, I made promises I couldn't keep....

• You were planted a little late in the season. Okay, a probably more than just a little late...I'm going to say late May.
• I failed at protecting you from the elements. Okay, it's been 100 degrees for the last 43 days in a row-nobody could protect you from the elements.
• On occasion, I neglected to hydrate you properly. Okay, I traveled more this summer than I have in years and didn't create a watering program for you in my absence. My bad. 

I did, however, do a few things right for you.

• You often were the target of Labrador urination attempts-but I was able to direct the elimination process elsewhere.
• Stakes-I couldn't wait to stake you guys and you did beautifully-for a while.
• Little hands and fingers found your leaves quite interesting and I spent quite a but of time redirecting those hands away from your precious harvest. (by precious, I mean SIX total tomatoes from 3 plants)

And while we're on that topic, seriously? SIX total tomatoes all year? You were so promising-with your little flowers that bloomed-just waiting for a burst of tomatoes to appear-that never did.  And those that I did harvest tasted...tasteless. What a disappointment! We were even poised with the video as we took our first-and last-bite. It tasted like nothing. 

Sorry, I digress.

So, tomato plants #'s 1-3,  I apologize for not taking better care of you this summer. Had Dallas not experienced its most severe heat wave on record, perhaps we would have had a fighting chance.

While I won't be needing any of the 25-things-to-do-with-fresh-tomatoes lists, I encourage those of you who had banner tomato crops this year to make sauce,  eat them like apples ans share with others.  Oh, I'm available to take them off your hands, too.